Did you enjoy being pregnant – or if you are currently pregnant at the moment would you say that you are enjoying it?! If not, it really is okay. Here Daisy teacher Chloe talks about her own experiences of pregnancy and explains why for some women it may simply be a means to an end…
I did not enjoy either of my pregnancies if I am being totally honest. I had debilitating tiredness with my first, and awful sickness with my second. I had antenatal depression with both (https://thedaisyfoundation.com/antenatal-depression/) and once they started kicking, the feeling of having something move around inside me made me cringe. I think I actually said to my husband at one point that it was like having an alien inside me. How horrible does that sound? It was not that I was unhappy to be pregnant, I wanted my babies very much, but I definitely didn’t enjoy the journey of growing them.
It is important that we, as women feel able to talk and be open about how we feel. Yes being pregnant is such a magical time. It is something only we get to experience and each pregnancy is magical. However, for many women it is not the blooming, rosy cheeked, enjoying every second of the whole nine months thing. I definitely don’t begrudge women for who this is the case and I know a few of my friends loved every minute of being pregnant. Some even enjoyed the sickness as it meant baby was growing. Good for them I say, but for me – I would give birth 100 times over but being pregnant? No thanks!
Let that guilt go! There is nothing to feel guilty about if you don’t love being pregnant. It does not mean that you do not want your baby or that you will not love your baby. I love my kids to the end of the world! Yes, they drive me mad sometimes but I could never imagine my life without them. Still didn’t like growing them though! If you find that you are not enjoying it, try and do something for you, something you may not have chance to do very often. Enjoy a spa day; pamper yourself; get your nails or hair done; wallow in a warm bath for hours with a good book. Have a nap in the day! Spend a whole morning treating yourself with some online shopping (because walking around the shops may be a bit too tiring when you’re feeling massive and bloated!). Take up a hobby, something to take your mind of it, like crochet or knitting (babies need clothes don’t they?). Write a diary or a blog to chronicle your journey. Do a puzzle or play a board game. Something – anything – to take your mind off how you feel for a bit.
It’s a journey
If you don’t like being pregnant, just think of it as a means to an end. You get pregnant because you want a baby and pregnancy is the journey we go on to get one. Being pragmatic about it, and just accepting what it is may help you on your way. Think about what it is you don’t enjoy and try to do something to help…
Tiredness: can you sneak a nap in here and there? Who doesn’t love the chance to relax and sleep in the day? We rarely get chance as adults.
Sickness: it should pass when you’re into the second trimester but if not, do some deep breathing and maybe research some techniques that may help.
Feeling sluggish: find a suitable exercise class or an antenatal class (maybe Daisy Birthing – shameless plug!). This will give you a focus each week and a time to bond with your baby as well as giving you the benefits of movement, breathing and relaxation.
Being proactive at finding ways to deal with being pregnant in a positive way may help you feel better in your mind about the whole pregnancy thing.
Highs and Lows
Pregnancy is a bit like a rollercoaster: full of highs and lows! Emotions can be fraught: you may cry at television adverts one minute and feel on top of a rainbow the next. Add in to the mix extreme tiredness, sickness, bloating, aches and pains. And if you suffer from Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) or Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) it may be an even more difficult time. Putting on weight and a growing belly can be a concern for some people and one which they find hard to come to terms with. For these reasons and more it can be clear to see why some of us don’t savour every moment.
Love it or hate it – being pregnant is magical. You are growing a new human being; a new life. And while you may not enjoy aspects of it, just take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror in awe and admiration – you’ve got this! You are totally awesome! You are on your journey to becoming a mummy for the first, second, third, fourth or more time. With each subsequent time being just as special because each pregnancy is different. Just accept that it may not be all roses and chocolates for you personally and you’ll get through it.
In the grand scheme of things, nine months is not a long time. It is not even a year! You can do it for nine months. At the end of the journey you will be a mummy and the last nine months will melt away into nothing. I would do it again in a heartbeat if only I could get my husband to agree!
Love Daisy x